Wandering, Wondering and Drug Dealers

Wandering

You walk everywhere in New York. Actually, you walk everywhere really fast in New York - at least everyone else does. I don't have a reason to walk quickly yet, but I'm sure when I do, I'll race with the best of them. When walking in mass places, I always find it interesting how people come into and out of my life. For example, I could sit next to someone in the park, make small talk for five minutes, and then leave in the opposite direction never to see him again. Yesterday when I left the subway, I told one guy to have a good life - have a good life! Crazy thought. It makes me feel small and insignificant and makes me wonder about life. He will go on living without even remembering my existence. I sometimes feel relieved. I look around and see someone running to get something done, and I ask myself who actually cares if that person is on time? Not me. Not the thousands of other people stepping to get out of his way as he maniacally sprints forward. I guess it matters to his boss, who controls his salary, which affects his marriage, kids, dreams, future - see that's the problem. I get sucked into it too. I don't know. I just feel like I understand the world and my own life better when I forget about agendas and view it as a series of connections - of hellos and goodbyes passed between people floating into and out of each other's lives.

Wondering

The past week has been challenging. Moving to a new place is like jumping into a lake in April. Your head is full of memories from last August when the lake was as warm as the muggy air. You leap out of the car, race to the dock, tear off your shirt and shoes and jump. The air feels great but the water shoots cold steel through your spinal cord, you can't breath and your testicles shrivel like raisins. You look around and question the decision, thinking it would have been better to have gone golfing - or gone to grad school, stayed in Minneapolis, applied for the Peace Corps.

It took me all of college to accept the importance of art and theatre. I knew I loved it, but I couldn't rate its importance. It's easy to see the value of doctors, social workers, mechanics and teachers. We need them in society, even in the midst of an economic crisis. But theatre? Couldn't we survive on reality TV? Well, it's a long story, but I do believe in theatre. I believe in the importance and power of telling stories well, and I believe in art as an exploration, a question, an answer, a plea, a statement, an evaluation, a reflection, a hope and much more. I needed to write this paragraph because I need to remember these ideas when shivering on the edge of the dock wanting to get back in the car to go home.

Drug Dealers

Craigslist embodies everything sketchy about the internet. It is a place where anyone can post anything hoping to lure anyone into doing anything for them. I've been looking for apartments and jobs on this website and have "met" some real winners. First, there was a lady doing "peace work" all over Africa. She owned an apartment in Brooklyn and told me that she was too busy doing "peace work" and couldn't find anyone to take her apartment. Even though her emailed reply could have been written by an illiterate 3rd grader (really, it was horrible), I didn't suspect much until she asked me to send two months rent to her address (which wasn't in Africa). Once she got my money, she would send me the keys to the house. She told me that even though I couldn't see the apartment until I actually started renting it, I could enjoy her three skewed pictures plastered on the craigslist page. Really? Does anyone fall for this stuff?

I actually received four emails very similar to this one, but the shadiest one was from a man supposedly splitting time between France and Australia (random). I replied to his ad for a personal assistant, and he emailed me five minutes later. He told me that the job would be easy: he would send me packages every week, and I would need to forward them to destinations all over America. He was going to pay me a lot of money, but after a five minute internal debate, I decided to not get involved with the international drug trade.

I hope you are enjoying my blog. It's not going to be a linear life summery because I'm realizing that just like my life, I don't want a blog that is plot-driven.